Hey Marie,

I’ve read every single one of your letters yet I’m hesitant to reply. Saw how they were playing their typical games with you, but I never had the guts to intervene. Sometimes I blame myself for giving you advice on how to win his heart when mine was aching for you. What was I suppose to do when your cinnamon eyes flashed their golden hue when he walked in the room? Did they ever do that for me too?

The rumors started because you never learned how to be discreet, always talking endlessly about him overthinking details that don’t really speak. While you were too focused arranging the flowers he should have gotten you instead, I bought them for you cause you deserve happiness regardless of what they say.

Held my excitement when I was assigned to work with you and finish the draft by the end of year. Your mind does not compare with others, your ideas and dreams fly too high for anyone to follow. When my glasses were about to fall as I read, you pushed them back with a slight nudge of your finger. Confessed how you liked my thin silver glasses, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom before the blushed rushed into my cheeks. Was this a sign or was I dreaming again?

Your post break-up hair was a power move and now it’s my turn to confess, Christmas is my favorite holiday, and Ariel had always been my favorite princess. Your voice is just like hers and I loved singing along to lyrics of the lagoon song. One day you’ll sing a love verse, think of someone better instead. Hope it’s me, but that’s too much to ask when you’re still in love with Seth.

What do you see in him? He doesn’t make you genuinely laugh nor does he care to dry your tears when he stands you up for another compliance specialist. I am the one always standing next to you and yet you seem too far away. Why are you apologizing for something that hasn’t happened yet?

Don’t think of a future we haven’t written. You don’t get to decide who I love when the time hasn’t passed. Yes, I dated Stephanie for a while and she’s amazing. If I were sincere, I thought of you when she kissed me in the front seat of my car. Parked at her apartment, she pulled me to the door, and I let go of myself thinking this was the best way to forget you.

Hey, Marie. It didn’t work, it never works. I wish you would choose me, but we are both too scared to ruin what we have. I won’t accept your apology until you learn to love yourself first, choose whoever you love, even if it comes between us. I’d love to read your love story, I’d love to be more than just your best friend, your dearest Jerry.