Dearest Jerry,

I’ve written hundreds of letters, but not a single reply. All the boys have been too busy playing their games, yet you always have the time. It’s too surreal to think it might be true how you unveil your honeyed soul to the girl with wrecked plot lines.

Whatever you have heard, it’s all true. Can’t lie, Seth came first than you. Unlike him your signals aren’t mixed and instead of flags there’s flashing scarlet glows prepping to fly up to reach my highest hopes.

The first time that I saw you I had deja vu, you waved your hand at me just like he did on the second time he noticed my iridescent halo. A hint of shame burned my cheeks because while I saw you I thought of how he used to greet me.

Never had a man treated me like a princess, you’re like the pages of the diary I wrote in seventh grade back when the love I knew was sang by Nick Jonas. Rumors spread around the halls as we were assigned to work together, get this draft done before the end of December.

The first line reads as follow, «my love for you will last every tomorrow.» The story is always the same, the boy proposes before going to the second date. Jerry, you took your time before announcing your love to every girl that could not compare to my mind.

Heard another rumor today started by myself; my attraction towards intelligence is my ideal type. The answer is yes, Jerry, and I really like the way your thin silver glasses fall to the tip of your nose. Seth’s wide-framed glasses are far too big as he pretends not to read this letter again and again.

Bet his friend Jim is reading this first to gossip about me as revenge for never paying him attention as I prayed unanswered verses for Seth to ignore. When Jim persuades him to read this letter, Seth will begin to wonder two things: who is Jerry and when did he become the antagonist? It’s a bad habit of mine to have Seth as my muse all the time.

Jerry, I apologize for my pen’s cursive letters shifting the narrative to speak repeatedly of him. Wrote you as the funny side character, and compared to him you are the perfect guy, the kind you only read in books where the protagonist keeps making all the wrong choices.

My friends have already started creating shipping wars in your honor. None of them ever siding with the prince that has already stabbed me twice with lovely grin. Passed him the smile on my signature meaning every word I said between lines and aloof cordiality.

Seth escaped to another path never once thinking whether this situationship will go beyond the pages of last year’s novel. Jerry, apologies again, you are the first step to getting over him.

Brought me flowers before spending the whole date starring at me as if I was part of Ms. Maldonado’s art gallery. Confessed you liked my new look and it made my cheeks match the color of my hair. Unfamiliar with candor affections, I whispered let’s go home before I revealed to you a water show.

Wish this was a love letter my dearest, Jerry, but I cannot easily skip the chapters of his and I’s story. Though I have proclaimed to the city we are just friends, I play the part of the one Seth let himself get bored with. Keeps me as an option just in case he ever feels lonely after getting rejected by the second girl he’s slept with.

Too bad Seth can’t comprehend that status and money cannot buy a woman’s attachment. However, there are several woman in love with him, I am not the only one waiting for when his sign says, «I am ready to settle down».

Jerry, years will pass and I will regret having second thoughts. Seth will never text me back not even after his second divorce, but I will cheer for the both of you when you are standing at the end of aisle reading the vows to the woman who truly appreciate you.

From within the crowd if you see a flash my gray streaks, know it’s me on my phone writing another apology letter after missing this opportunity. At least I will gain inspiration from this tragedy, write a book or two about the scenes I wished had happened when I borrowed your jacket at the office.

Still have it in my closet to wear whenever I feel down. Jerry, I am aware that my writing has its own cruel intention. You will always remain the hero of this story, and I the villain that didn’t deserve you.

[Photo by freestocks on Unsplash]