Perfect sunny days, brighter than what everyone expects. I lived by myself at a beautiful cottage near a field of lilacs, daises and lilies. Built my foundation out of love, and experienced pain through paths I should have never crossed. But when the grey clouds came hiding behind your charming smile, I welcomed the rain with open arms and danced by myself to the rhythm of your thunder. And I thought, “Oh, so this is what love feels like.“, as I continued dancing in my stockings over wet grass and mud puddles. Ruined my clothes, stripped them off for you and my own raindrops pouring as you touched my skin. My lilies were the first to die before the storm.

Lightning struck when he didn’t get what he wanted, blamed me for starting the storm he brought with him. As much as I offered my umbrella, he rather disappeared within the mist and showers, and ask me to find him, protect him, cover him, love him. He said, “Shower me with love.”, as I hesitantly kept plucking the dead lilies to gift him, and asked him: “Is this enough?” Hope he enjoys the flowers I voluntary, but shakily let him stomp.

The winds kept picking-up, 40mph per hour, as I tried searching for what was left of the character you portrayed, my feet got tangled between the vines under the river that flowed from my scarlet eyes. At home the radio warns me to get back inside, but my hopeful soul persisted on the boy who wore a charming smile. The same boy who promised verses that were never written for me, and an eternal love with a future he couldn’t see.

Never did a single raindrop traced down his cheek, even as my eyes were overflowing with the thousands of downpours, he provoked without taking responsibility. The transmission from the radio glitched, as plane flew above us chasing the approaching eye. The wind became stronger, ripping my lilacs and daisies, as his voice grew fierce with displeasure from catching a glimpse of my independence and success.

Still my lack of awareness prevented me from noticing the rusted front door, unwelcoming, different from what it was before. The radio insisted, “Please come inside, and do not let him in.”, but it was too late for the hurricane, he, had arrived to destroy my core essence. Chaos surrounded the home I had built, the ceiling being the first to rip by his fingers tracing where my hands and voice told him to stop. The windows were the next to shattered from the pressure he forced onto me to become better and darker version of myself, to be as miserable as him and equalize his natural frustration. Brick by brick he crushed the wall, as he threw a fit like toddler, when I was brave enough to say no to his awkward approaches of pleasing only himself.

In the guts of winds my screams were unheard, and then there was a silence.

In the eye of the hurricane there was silence, there was a beautiful symphony playing without him near me. To be alone with my presences was ecstatic. Two or three days passed by, not a word from him. Only did I fear what happened next when he knocked on the door of a non-existing little house. It was my fault for letting him again, and avoiding the warnings of my mental health station, “He’s not sorry, stay home, stay safe.”. For a moment I glimpsed at the blue sky and thought of the happy times we shared together. Staying in the eye helped me temporarily feel better.

Threw my pens and papers to side, and watched them fly, far from my reach to write what my heart had to say. But in the eye you can’t hide for too long, as the second and worst impact is minutes away. The catastrophe that makes you lose hope. After ruining my house, flowers and spirit, he lingered a while longer to continue the love that was never meant to be. Exhausted, I shook my head, but allowed him to lay the first bricks to the first wall I planned. I designed the blueprints, mixed the cement, and built four stable walls around myself, my new small yet mighty shed.

To him I bid my goodbye and said, “Try to destroy me now. For these walls were meant to protect me against people like you.” And though I eventually found the courage to regain the life I once had, it took me two years to overcome the trauma from his tempest.